When I respond "None" they always gets a look of disbelief and confusion in their eyes as if their brain just short circuited because they are talking to a woman over the age of 25 who has not produced offspring.
|WHATTTT!! NO KIDS! FREAK!|
The first thing I do is fight down the urge to slap this person upside the head for being so narrow minded assuming that every person that has a uterus wants to have an offspring. That is simply not true! (and while I am dispelling these rumors not all childless women are lesbians either!)
My next step is to explain that I am not a "baby person" which is my polite way of saying....I think babies SUCK and would never in my life subject myself to the hell on earth that is called, "parenthood".
Now, I do have mothering/nurturing instincts and I funnel them through my animals. I love them unconditionally, take care of them when they are sick, feed them, play with them, make sure they are safe.....
and in return I get zero back talk, no whining, no tantrums, no poopy/urine soaked diapers, no projectile vomit, no college tuition, etc...I just get love. Pure, unedited, exuberant love. When I walk in the door every evening after work, I don't get, "What's for dinner, I need $20 for school supplies, etc..." I get, "HOLY CRAP, MOM'S HOME ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD!"
|How could you not smile seeing this face?|
Yes, yes, I am sure you are reading this thinking, "this broad is whacked!" and you want to educate me on all that I am "missing". Save it, I have heard it all...."It's different when it is your own kid", "kids fill a void in your life that you didn't even know you had", "you don't know how amazing it is watching your child grow right in front of you"...blah, blah, blah....all I can say to that is.... keep telling yourself these fine quips breeders. I know it helps you get through the day without downing a bottle full of vodka along with mommy's little helpers (better known as Valium. )
|Ah, just 10 short minutes till blissdom!|
Peace and Happiness to you all!