Monday, April 30, 2012

I am NOT a freak, I just don't want kids!

I have been wanting to write this post for quite some time but just never got up the nerve to voice my frustration out loud.  Since I got married in 1997 (wow it will be 15 years this June, holy sh*&t time flies) I have been asked, over and over by every one I meet, "How many kids do you have?"

When I respond "None" they always gets a look of disbelief and confusion in their eyes as if their brain just short circuited because they are talking to a woman over the age of 25 who has not produced offspring.

Then I get the inevitable pity look because they just assume that I am physically unable to have children and the response of, "Oh" in a muted, soft tone as if to express their empathy for me because I can't breed.

The first thing I do is fight down the urge to slap this person upside the head for being so narrow minded assuming that every person that has a uterus wants to have an offspring. That is simply not true! (and while I am dispelling these rumors not all childless women are lesbians either!) 

My next step is to explain that I am not a "baby person" which is my polite way of saying....I think babies SUCK and would never in my life subject myself to the hell on earth that is called, "parenthood".

Now, I do have mothering/nurturing instincts and I funnel them through my animals. I love them unconditionally, take care of them when they are sick, feed them, play with them, make sure they are safe.....
and in return I get zero back talk, no whining, no tantrums, no poopy/urine soaked diapers, no projectile vomit, no college tuition, etc...I just get love. Pure, unedited, exuberant love.  When I walk in the door every evening after work, I don't get, "What's for dinner, I need $20 for school supplies, etc..." I get, "HOLY CRAP,  MOM'S HOME ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD!"

How could you not smile seeing this face?

Yes, yes, I am sure you are reading this thinking, "this broad is whacked!" and you want to educate me on all that I am "missing". Save it, I have heard it all...."It's different when it is your own kid", "kids fill a void in your life that you didn't even know you had", "you don't know how amazing it is watching your child grow right in front of you"...blah, blah, blah....all I can say to that is.... keep telling yourself these fine quips breeders. I know it helps you get through the day without downing a bottle full of vodka along with mommy's little helpers (better known as Valium. )
Ah, just 10 short minutes till blissdom!
Now, I am not a hypocrite and do not assume that all breeders secretly hate the burden of parenthood. I have met some folks who seem to love having kids and expanding the population. Fine by me. I am just asking that next time you meet a woman who would prefer to live her life for her and not anyone else, don't make that snap judgement that she is missing out. You never know she just might be quite content with her life!

Peace and Happiness to you all!

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  1. I think it is great that you spoke your mind..funny too :) I married later in life and we chose to adopt a child. I could have gone through the scientific way of having a child but it wasn't that important to me. Many people make giving birth sound so miraculous...but c'mon its not a big deal. Everybody can pop out a kid. The important thing is being a loving and nurturing parent. Sadly I have seen many Mom's that do not qualify there.

  2. I stumbled upon your blog through the Not A Mommy Blogger blog and when I saw this post I had to comment.

    I, like you, have no desire to have children. My mother can't seem to get it through her head that just because she had 5 kids, and has 7 siblings, (and I have 45 freakin' cousins) does NOT mean that I'm carrying on the legacy of huge families. I have dogs, they're my kids, all done!

    My friends, all with kids, don't get that I travel when I want. Have money to spend on the frivolous things I want and my husband and I couldn't be happier.

    Thank you for saying what every woman who DOESN'T want children needs to say.

  3. Thanks for writing this. I can identify. I am also not a mom and I am okay with it. I didn't set out NOT to have kids (bad grammar??), but I don't have them and the world is just a little bit awkward because of it. Anyway, fist bump to my non-breeding sister!